Troubles of an INFJ writer
Yet again, I find myself in a writing dry patch. And it affects and frustrates me more than I’d like it to. I don’t think it is necessarily writer’s block — I think it’s more the perfectionist in me who just won’t start anything unless it feels perfect or is changing the world.
I just read an article by Lauren Reiff of “Introvert, Dear” where she writes that
“most INFJs […] perfectionism manifests as a concealed variety because they are particularly likely to hold themselves to internal standards no one else sees.
For example, we have an intense desire to “fix” any uncomfortable feelings we might have. We’re perpetually haunted by the idea that we’re not living up to our full potential and thus, must strive to do so. We may thirst after order in our lives, rigidly holding ourselves to a concealed web of routines.
For a lot of INFJs, we are tortured over our mental wellbeing and are constantly evaluating it and searching for flaws. This is partly a consequence of spending so much time in our heads.
A lot of it seems to be true for me, as I also see this way of thinking through my processes in tackling my writing. I find myself being overly cautious with my ideas, being very insecure about executing them due to the fear of not wanting to humiliate myself or being in the wrong.
This feeling that something is always wrong and needs to be tweaked to escape the restlessness for even a second? Yeah, that’s most likely perfectionism.
Whenever I complete a writing project, the feeling of accomplishment only lasts for a minute before I judge and assess what I have written into million pieces and keep searching for things that could still be tweaked. So yes, that is me and my perfectionism.
Even while writing this, I think to myself that I cannot possibly just publish this without adding more and more things just so I feel like it’s presentable. However, whatever should look presentable in an INFJs eyes, with the standards that we have put on ourselves, things won’t ever feel right or great. The cringe feeling will linger, the sense of needing improvement will always be after us but we need to learn to give ourselves grace.
Although we are the masters of beating ourselves up, being hard on ourselves and always striving to improve, sometimes we just have to let it go. Publish whatever you have written, take that uncomfortable first step into creation and feel the discomfort throughout the whole process. Why? Because you’re stopping yourself and the creator spirit within you that wants to be released.
Maybe it helps to just care a little less. Maybe it helps to just do. And at the end of the day, getting something out there that doesn’t look or seem perfect is a lot better than not having taken that step at all.
#NoteToSelf: Progress > Perfection
Article Source: https://introvertdear.com/news/the-infj-struggle-with-perfectionism-is-real/
